Slipping back into complacency

Jacob David C. Cunningham
2 min readSep 15, 2023

So… let’s rewind 2 months ago:

oh damn where does money come from…

I sold pretty much anything that was worth more than $100…

…you have to do 4 interviews spanning weeks apart before you get hired… then there’s the delay of your start date and pay roll.

I basically went backwards in time 5 years ago to what I was doing then (making WordPress sites). Granted… I’m not exactly complaining since I was saved from working at a warehouse for even less. I’m just saying… I’m getting sucked into that daily job grind… because 10 hours of my day is gone from the moment I wake up for 5 days. So it takes drive… and the problem I’m having right now is I’m drained when I come home… I just veg out.

What happened today? I got assigned a ticket that I did not much progress on (learning some new thing). This job everything is supposed to be tracked by the minute it’s sad but that’s how it is this agency place. And I’m failing at that so yeah. There were layoffs, two devs in our dept were let go.

Again… what have I been doing… I haven’t been trying. I did build some software for a friend, that took up 20 some hours of my time spread out across weekends.

My car needs work now, I was about to put some money into my credit cards as a buffer since I’ve been in this cycle lately where the interest overdraws my limit and then I miss a payment which adds a late fee so a normally <$100 payment is now $250+… that’s not been great.

Focus of my fears lately, really bad alignment wearing out my tires and makes weird sounds/feels weird when I drive

And yeah… I don’t make enough, at least not to escape what I have to pay now. I lost 30% of my income with this job. As a job hopper I “am being loyal” lol wtf… it’s at will employment and not looking for something else. It’s just funny though like you come in as someone nearly senior and you’re doing level 1 tasks… like a rite of passage idk. Still I’m doing poorly on tasks time completion wise. I’ve been complaining about how tasks are poorly described and time is wasted confirming details of requirements.

Anyway it goes back to quit being poor. Try harder.

I also was doing this Fold at home thing with my computer like 24/7 and when I got a $200 electric bill I was like no more… lol maybe in winter.

Post publish update

For example… right now I just need to merge two arrays together/check and overwrite with a preferred value… and I can’t bring myself to do it. It’s not hard, it’s just process. But my brain just says no. Watch TV.

Then I feel bad because I accomplished nothing for myself for today.